I quit drinking because the Venn Diagram of my heart comparing and contrasting “I want to be alone” and “I am scared of being alone” had overlapped and become one circle. Because I was afraid of dying drunk and then telling St. Peter, “What the fuck just happened?” I quit drinking because people I loved were learning to hate me and I stayed sober because those same people needed to count on me.
Thank you for sharing your story, John. Although I’ve never been much of a drinker — never liked the taste and couldn’t care much of the people I’ve lost due to my non-drinking — I’ve always thought of any behaviour that we lean on to mask something else as truly fascinating. I love this little bit. I think if you substitute ‘drinking’ with any other potentially damaging emotional response, it would be equally as powerful — I quit___because people I loved were learning to hate me and because those same people needed to count on me.